Here’s 55 dos and don’ts of attending a gay sex party. Get past your notions about who attends them (you’ll meet pros and first-timers, kinky and vanilla, old and young) and go to one. No matter the specifics, you're there to play. Sometimes the backroom/play area is tucked away near the bathrooms - a lights-out area you have the option of entering. Sometimes the party is one giant sex party. That led me to large dance/play parties, events with hundreds of guys in attendance: sweat fests and dark dance floors with slings off to one side. I liked the freedom and camaraderie of playing with others without pressure or expectation. After we separated, I became the third guy and played with couples across the country. The only problem with that, of course, is that it’s hard to agree on things as a couple - guys included. My boyfriend and I hit the bars seeking guys we both thought were cute.